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| The Queen's Christmas tree 1850 |
For example, because of curiosity and the internet, I now know that, according to the Encyclopedia Britannica, "The use of evergreen trees, wreaths, and garlands to symbolize eternal life was a custom of the ancient Egyptians, Chinese, and Hebrews. Tree worship was common among the pagan Europeans and survived their conversion to Christianity in the Scandinavian customs of decorating the house and barn with evergreens at the New Year to scare away the devil and of setting up a tree for the birds during Christmastime". I have also learned that "In pre-Christian Rome, the emperors compelled their most despised citizens to bring offerings and gifts during the Saturnalia (in December) and Kalends (in January). Later, this ritual expanded to include gift-giving among the general populace. The Catholic Church gave this custom a Christian flavor by re-rooting it in the supposed gift-giving of Saint Nicholas". This information does not take away from the awe and wonder that I see in my son's eyes when he opens a gift on Christmas morning or from the satisfaction my parents enjoyed when watching my brother and I decorate our Christmas tree when I was little. In all honesty the removal of the guilt aspect of Christmas (Jesus born with the only purpose to eventually die for the sins of the world) makes it that much easier to focus on the beautiful and wonderful parts of this world and what is in front of us right now.
Now as much frustration as I have during this time of year, what bothers me most is when personal beliefs are forced upon people. I always try to the best of my ability to not interfere with personal expression of belief when done privately. If I am invited to someone's home, I will never bring up my personal beliefs. If they pray prior to dinner I will bow my head and quietly listen or if asked to participate in "Airing of Grievances" for Festivus (man I love Seinfeld) I will do my best. The point being, is that if I go into someone else's home, I am a guest and will adhere to their personal wishes and beliefs, I am there on my own free will and have the choice to separate myself from the situation if I feel it is appropriate. This is not the case when religious ideas are forces upon people in public government areas or in public schools. Can the nativity scene be displayed outside of a church? Yes, it is their property. Should it be displayed on government property? I feel it shouldn't because I think most people would have a problem if you were to put an Eid Al-Adha display next to it (Eid Al-Adha is where Muslims usually sacrifice an animal and distribute its meat among family, friends and the poor). To make it easier, if it is government property there should be nothing holiday related, if it is private property, fair game. Now that isn't the end all but that is my personal opinion and it is how I would like to be treated so it is how I look to treat others.
If you want to know what it is like to be an atheist in a Christian dominated area during the holidays (or any belief not Christian), imagine your local municipal building, whether it be court room, city hall, or police station, and replace anything Christian with Muslim Symbols. All crosses change to the star and crescent, remove the bible and replace it with the qur'an, and modify the architecture to represent religious edifices such as mosques, khanqahs, and dargahs. This is how most people with different faiths or no faith feel when they enter a government or public areas during the holidays. Now I will grant this is not all cases but for my experience this seems to be the norm when I first started walking around with an atheist eye on the world. I do not have problems with generic decorations; I have issues with decorations that are a direct representation of a specific religion in government buildings and locations. Now my personal holiday preference has no problem with decorated trees, garland, and lights in public areas, I can understand where someone could get upset with the Pagan association with the tree, but for my preference I have no problem with it. And that's where it comes down to, at what point do we say it's too much, do we remove everything or do we allow a little here or a little there. Personally, I think it should be kept as private as possible, because to me the most important thing for this holiday is family.
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| 1881 illustration by Thomas Nast |
The most important thing will always be family, no matter what argument or ill will we may have during this season, we always go back to that which is most important. My son is the most important thing during this time of year; his happiness, joy, and love are the only things that mean anything worthwhile and the only thing that effects how I live each day. As a nonbeliever, each day becomes more important than the one before. I would be lying if I said that I wouldn't want eternity with my son (though my wife would tell you that even six years with me feels like an eternity) but that isn't going to happen, this life is all I have, and I’m fine with that. It’s what makes the time we have so incredible, it’s what makes the few Christmases that you have with your children times that you should be cherishing with all your heart and being. I know that this life is all I have with my son; that when I am gone the memories that we have made together will be all that is left of me. That what is left of me is what I pass on to my son, family, and friends. When you have that mindset, you realize that everything you have done and will do in life is solely your responsibility and you are responsible to make every moment better for everyone and to achieve the most out of every second of your fleeting time here. That’s what Christmas is; it’s a magnifying glass to focus all that is good, it is a time to remind ourselves that we all have something joyous to give to the world if we only take the time to do it. It is a time to invite EVERYONE into our lives to love one another and make each other’s short time in this world something amazing. That is the Christmas holiday season to an atheist. This is what Happy Holidays means to me.
In this joyous time of the holidays, I leave you with sound advice from a well known atheist during this holiday season. I thank you for taking the time to read this and look forward to sharing in the holiday joy and wonder that we as a family always enjoy around this time of year. Happy Holidays.
Stephen Bender
1st Lieutenant. USMC
“Our belief is not a belief. Our principles are not a faith. We do not rely solely upon science and reason, because these are necessary rather than sufficient factors, but we distrust anything that contradicts science or outrages reason. We may differ on many things, but what we respect is free inquiry, open-mindedness, and the pursuit of ideas for their own sake.” - Christopher Hitchens
If you are interested in more on the lying to children topic, Sam Harris (Author, Neuroscientist, and CEO of Project Reason) wrote an amazing and in depth blog on the subject that I have included here. To quote his page:
"Children have fantasy lives so rich and combustible that rigging them with lies is like putting a propeller on a rocket. And is the last child in class who still believes in Santa really grateful to have his first lesson in epistemology meted out by his fellow six-year-olds? If you deceive your children about Santa, you may give them a more thrilling experience of Christmas. What you probably won’t give them, however, is the sense that you would not and could not lie to them about anything else."
